As a result of Wednesday’s vote [congress approved $70 billion more], Sharp [of the Center for Arms Control and Non-Proliferation] said, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan will become the second costliest conflict in American history, trailing only World War II.
"But that was a time when 12 million Americans served, as compared with 1.42 million active duty soldiers and just over one million National Guard and reservists today," Sharp added.
Much of the money approved by Congress will go to buy expensive new military equipment
"I think what you’re seeing from Democrats is a resignation to the fact that they’re going to have to wait for the Bush Administration to leave office before they see any serious change in the country’s war policy," Sharp said. "The Democrats just want to play out the clock on this one."
But "playing out the clock" comes with a severe cost for essential services at home.
"We want to help people comprehend the magnitude of these numbers," said the group’s Pamela Schwartz. "Surely, ultimately, we'd hope that our priorities would shift so that significantly less money is going to war with more money going to programs like heath care, Headstart, and education."
"We want to help people understand that choices are being made here," she added.
To that end, the National Priorities Project has set up a web-site, www.costofwar.com, where taxpayers can learn what the cost of the Iraq war has meant to their community. Visitors to the website can search by state, city, or congressional district and find out how much money the Iraq war has taken out of their community and where the money could have gone instead.
"The Democrats were elected last year with a certain set of priorities, but President Bush drew a line in the sand," Schwartz told OneWorld. "Rather than drawing their own line, Democrats respected Bush’s line. They met President Bush’s spending limits on domestic programs and gave him a blank check for the Iraq war. That’s the choice they made."
Friday, December 21, 2007
cost of war
Iraq, Afghanistan War Costs Now Top Vietnam - excerpts:
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
13 grandmothers
Celebrations galore! In the next 6 weeks, we will celebrate Christmas, New Year, my birthday, and the birth of our new daughter; but are 4 celebrations sufficient, or should I be asking for an additional "push present" for gestating her?
I see this "thanks for the baby, have some diamonds" trend around me - it makes perfect sense on some level: we, as mothers, do an incredible job of nurturing a little one into this world; and we are expected to do so much more from then on. The sacrifices, the societal inequality, the martyrdom, it's all there. But what if the level it makes sense on is connected to acquisition purely as a by-product of ingenious marketing (we could, instead, be offered daily naps or a reprieve from cooking post-partum).
So I've been thinking about stuff lately. Stuff. Consumerism and the planned obsolescence of stuff from The Story of Stuff.
Incidentally, I was reading around to see what reactions were in different circles and liked the following:
The Stuff is clearly an environmental and sustainability problem (If I had more time and energy to have more guts, I'd be well on my way to becoming The Christmas Greench); it's a why don't individuals have more rights than corporations problem; it's a global social justice problem (the externalization of cost; the massive inequalities based on which country The Corporations work in cohute with and against) which clearly leads to a "deficit of trust" and geopolitical instability ; it's completely anti-yogic in its pursuit of hoarding (Is hoarding in reaction to fear and insecurity?).
The United States of The Stuff is not working for the majority of people; certainly not for those who contribute to the 2.5 trillion dollar US consumer debt nor the poor kids who thanks to Bush's watchful eye won't have to leave the private health insurance sector for a federally funded program nor Texas' teen moms and repeat teen moms nor the mothers of micro-preemies and others in fragile healthcare insurance situations (It's an issue dear to my socialist-raised, occasionally US-bashing heart. And an issue that's been getting closer as this time around I face unpaid maternity leave, no maternity nor child allowance. Finding private health-insurance was no piece of cake, and others around are unable to acquire an ultrasound or health insurance because of their (legal) immigration status, or 'prior condition' known as pregnancy). Though it is getting somewhat better as North Carolina improves heart attack care by putting profits first.
Is it possible that the world of Stuff is still standing because everything is so compartmentalized? With the wheel of politics and politicians on one hand; the world of corporations and dividends and profits on another; the world of home and family and friends and humanity on another (stay with the yoga analogy; we are now on #3 of Shiva's many hands); nature on another; and so on.
I know it might seem like I'm bundling together a host of very varied problems; but that's my point: from the perspective of each person who can't make ends meet financially, who gets through the work week only with the prospect of weekend shopping or drinking, who can't get through the month without antidepressants and/or a visit to the shrink, and that's the majority of the US population right there, this isn't working.
It took a woman to launch ecology,
Does it take 1 woman, 13 grandmothers, an Obama, or something else to look at the problems more holistically and take a fresh-eyes human-centered view of society?
PS: Btw, darling if you're reading, my preference for a push present for our bundle of joy would be some BPA-free glass baby bottles. Or a day at the spa prior to the birth. Whichever, really.
I see this "thanks for the baby, have some diamonds" trend around me - it makes perfect sense on some level: we, as mothers, do an incredible job of nurturing a little one into this world; and we are expected to do so much more from then on. The sacrifices, the societal inequality, the martyrdom, it's all there. But what if the level it makes sense on is connected to acquisition purely as a by-product of ingenious marketing (we could, instead, be offered daily naps or a reprieve from cooking post-partum).
So I've been thinking about stuff lately. Stuff. Consumerism and the planned obsolescence of stuff from The Story of Stuff.
Incidentally, I was reading around to see what reactions were in different circles and liked the following:
Is The Story of Stuff just preaching to the converted? No. (Though note, as a friend says, that there's a reason and rationale for the clergy to preach to the congregation every week -- it reinforces, deepens and sustains commitment and understanding.)Go ahead and watch it. I'll wait right here.
The Story of Stuff is something you can show to anyone (or ask anyone to view online). It's persuasive but not a sermon. It's sophisticated but not esoteric. Its tone is light but its content is serious. It's narrated by the irrepressible Annie Leonard with passion but no pretense.
Annie, who is a former colleague and good friend, casually mentions at the start of The Story of Stuff that she spent 10 years traveling the world to explore how stuff is made and discarded. This doesn't begin to explain her first-hand experience. There aren't many people who race from international airports to visit trash dumps. Annie does. In travels to three dozen countries, she has visited garbage dumps, infiltrated toxic factories, worked with ragpickers and received death threats for her investigative work. Her understanding of the externalized violence of the corporate consumer economy comes from direct observation and experience.
The Stuff is clearly an environmental and sustainability problem (If I had more time and energy to have more guts, I'd be well on my way to becoming The Christmas Greench); it's a why don't individuals have more rights than corporations problem; it's a global social justice problem (the externalization of cost; the massive inequalities based on which country The Corporations work in cohute with and against) which clearly leads to a "deficit of trust" and geopolitical instability ; it's completely anti-yogic in its pursuit of hoarding (Is hoarding in reaction to fear and insecurity?).
The United States of The Stuff is not working for the majority of people; certainly not for those who contribute to the 2.5 trillion dollar US consumer debt nor the poor kids who thanks to Bush's watchful eye won't have to leave the private health insurance sector for a federally funded program nor Texas' teen moms and repeat teen moms nor the mothers of micro-preemies and others in fragile healthcare insurance situations (It's an issue dear to my socialist-raised, occasionally US-bashing heart. And an issue that's been getting closer as this time around I face unpaid maternity leave, no maternity nor child allowance. Finding private health-insurance was no piece of cake, and others around are unable to acquire an ultrasound or health insurance because of their (legal) immigration status, or 'prior condition' known as pregnancy). Though it is getting somewhat better as North Carolina improves heart attack care by putting profits first.
Is it possible that the world of Stuff is still standing because everything is so compartmentalized? With the wheel of politics and politicians on one hand; the world of corporations and dividends and profits on another; the world of home and family and friends and humanity on another (stay with the yoga analogy; we are now on #3 of Shiva's many hands); nature on another; and so on.
I know it might seem like I'm bundling together a host of very varied problems; but that's my point: from the perspective of each person who can't make ends meet financially, who gets through the work week only with the prospect of weekend shopping or drinking, who can't get through the month without antidepressants and/or a visit to the shrink, and that's the majority of the US population right there, this isn't working.
It took a woman to launch ecology,
Ellen Swallow Richards, MIT's first alumna, was troubled by the toll industrialization was taking on the environment, evidence of which she discovered by analyzing the local water whenever she traveled (in 1903 she would conclude, "It is hard to find anyplace in the world where the water does not show the effect of human agencies"). To Richards, the home, the natural world, and human health were all interconnected, so she believed that science should be interdisciplinary. In 1892 she gave a talk proposing a new field called "oekology" (ecology), to be grounded in that holistic principle. The speech made quite a splash in the Boston Daily Globe, but it soon became clear that the science establishment dismissed her concept. Her idea ran counter to that era's trend toward specialization: with many new branches of science--such as limnology and bacteriology--coming into existence, scientists were more interested in focusing on their fields than in forging connections.
Does it take 1 woman, 13 grandmothers, an Obama, or something else to look at the problems more holistically and take a fresh-eyes human-centered view of society?
PS: Btw, darling if you're reading, my preference for a push present for our bundle of joy would be some BPA-free glass baby bottles. Or a day at the spa prior to the birth. Whichever, really.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
I was mad once. I used to force myself into things more - force to keep up appearances, force to do what had made it on my to-do list, until it hit me over the head that plenty of times there were excellent reasons why I was postponing such or such item. I hadn't grown into it. There was an unanswered question I needed to work through. Simply, there was a reason, sometimes unconscious, to wait.
I believe I've written here before about things coming together - reading just the book you needed at the right time, or meeting just the right stranger one day for an unexpected and enlightening conversation.
And often it isn't that the world has changed (has it ever), rather than our perspective has shifted. We notice all the strollers and pregnant bellies once we start expecting ourselves, for instance.
Thursday nights are my night off where I go to prenatal yoga, ritually. I hang out with other pregnant ladies, and greatly enjoy the circle of life - the new little tummies and those who never return only to send a birth announcement a few weeks later. There is something immuable (that's probably not a word in the English dictionary) about the length of time of a pregnancy, which despite today's rushed-rushed, pay-to-get-things-your-way culture, is level for all. Many months of pregnancy, and despite incredible impatience, especially during the first pregnancy, nothing sensible about wishing for a rush.
When asked, I always talk about 'my first pregnancy', not 'last time', when referring to my pregnancy with A. Because this is my third, not my second pregnancy. The second one ended rather dreadfully in a hospital, after I had been bleeding consistently for 10 days. I thought I was managing the miscarriage, doing it my way, simply (read unmedicalized; I was far from home and had not gotten the chance to see my OB when the bleeding started), in the comfort, and secrecy too, of my home and a few friends and family via the computer mostly. But I went into painful labor and heavy bleeding one morning, and had to have surgery. We don't have much practice talking about feelings and loss in my family, and no one had experienced the same type of loss, so expectedly (that has to be a word), I turned to online communities of those who had lost a pregnancy. And I cried. And I buried my grief to continue caring for my sunny child.
And I continued to cry occasionally. Yoga released quite a bit of emotions.
P and I found our way to reconnect past it. The expected due date passed, and a weight was lifted. The crying has subsided, though I did find myself with silent tears last week during our hypno birthing fear-release session (don't ask).
But a certain rawness hasn't disappeared.
I had resolved not to talk about this loss here, because I did not know how to find a way to mention it without asking for pity. Without feeling self-conscious as I am more comfortable being a part of an audience than having the spotlight shining on me. I did not believe either that hiding it was helping anyone, and I am apalled at how little our cultures give space to the very large number of women who have suffered the loss of a pregnancy, or a stillbirth. But I simply was not ready.
And I am more ready now.
With the birth of my second daughter less than 8 weeks away, I do find myself going back over that last stay in the hospital. That sense of immense loss which had me sobbing before I was even really awake from the anesthesia. That day in the hospital whose anniversary is coming up; and which ironically could be this daughter's birth day as well.
I am more ready now, more prepared for healing. I wish that if you have a grief or loss you are working through, that you will get there too.
I believe I've written here before about things coming together - reading just the book you needed at the right time, or meeting just the right stranger one day for an unexpected and enlightening conversation.
And often it isn't that the world has changed (has it ever), rather than our perspective has shifted. We notice all the strollers and pregnant bellies once we start expecting ourselves, for instance.
Thursday nights are my night off where I go to prenatal yoga, ritually. I hang out with other pregnant ladies, and greatly enjoy the circle of life - the new little tummies and those who never return only to send a birth announcement a few weeks later. There is something immuable (that's probably not a word in the English dictionary) about the length of time of a pregnancy, which despite today's rushed-rushed, pay-to-get-things-your-way culture, is level for all. Many months of pregnancy, and despite incredible impatience, especially during the first pregnancy, nothing sensible about wishing for a rush.
When asked, I always talk about 'my first pregnancy', not 'last time', when referring to my pregnancy with A. Because this is my third, not my second pregnancy. The second one ended rather dreadfully in a hospital, after I had been bleeding consistently for 10 days. I thought I was managing the miscarriage, doing it my way, simply (read unmedicalized; I was far from home and had not gotten the chance to see my OB when the bleeding started), in the comfort, and secrecy too, of my home and a few friends and family via the computer mostly. But I went into painful labor and heavy bleeding one morning, and had to have surgery. We don't have much practice talking about feelings and loss in my family, and no one had experienced the same type of loss, so expectedly (that has to be a word), I turned to online communities of those who had lost a pregnancy. And I cried. And I buried my grief to continue caring for my sunny child.
And I continued to cry occasionally. Yoga released quite a bit of emotions.
P and I found our way to reconnect past it. The expected due date passed, and a weight was lifted. The crying has subsided, though I did find myself with silent tears last week during our hypno birthing fear-release session (don't ask).
But a certain rawness hasn't disappeared.
I had resolved not to talk about this loss here, because I did not know how to find a way to mention it without asking for pity. Without feeling self-conscious as I am more comfortable being a part of an audience than having the spotlight shining on me. I did not believe either that hiding it was helping anyone, and I am apalled at how little our cultures give space to the very large number of women who have suffered the loss of a pregnancy, or a stillbirth. But I simply was not ready.
And I am more ready now.
With the birth of my second daughter less than 8 weeks away, I do find myself going back over that last stay in the hospital. That sense of immense loss which had me sobbing before I was even really awake from the anesthesia. That day in the hospital whose anniversary is coming up; and which ironically could be this daughter's birth day as well.
I am more ready now, more prepared for healing. I wish that if you have a grief or loss you are working through, that you will get there too.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
There's really no reason for my virtual absence, save for a 10-day trip around the country to milder climates, during which our nanny informed me that she was moving away sooner than expected.
The return was much better though: at 11pm at night, upon opening our front door, we discovered that the house stank. pungently. toxicly. The flooring guys hadn't finished.
So we scrambled to find a hotel room for the next five nights (1 available in the 50 mile radius, geez). And lived with all windows open for another five after that. It still smells, somewhat. I would be reassured, really, that it's just my paranoid pregnant hormones speaking, if it weren't for some pretty good evidence that that stuff has been banned in Europe for 20 years. Mmmh.
And the nanny we would have loved to hire just went with another family (I blame it entirely on the other-half of our proposed 'nanny-share' setup, as she said she'd "love to work with our family, and that there was simply too much driving for the other family"; but maybe she sensed that I needed a silver lining in that downer conversation).
So all in all: Ooomh.. Started the hippy hypnobirthing classes and was thrilled to find a very lively bunch of not-even-hippie couples. "You are feeling deeply relaxed..."
PS: Anyone want to babysit for us 6-9:30pm on Tuesday the 20th of November so we can attend the 3rd class?
--
In passing news: an economist looks at dating - disspelling the Asian woman fetish myth; but supporting gender stereotypes:
The return was much better though: at 11pm at night, upon opening our front door, we discovered that the house stank. pungently. toxicly. The flooring guys hadn't finished.
So we scrambled to find a hotel room for the next five nights (1 available in the 50 mile radius, geez). And lived with all windows open for another five after that. It still smells, somewhat. I would be reassured, really, that it's just my paranoid pregnant hormones speaking, if it weren't for some pretty good evidence that that stuff has been banned in Europe for 20 years. Mmmh.
And the nanny we would have loved to hire just went with another family (I blame it entirely on the other-half of our proposed 'nanny-share' setup, as she said she'd "love to work with our family, and that there was simply too much driving for the other family"; but maybe she sensed that I needed a silver lining in that downer conversation).
So all in all: Ooomh.. Started the hippy hypnobirthing classes and was thrilled to find a very lively bunch of not-even-hippie couples. "You are feeling deeply relaxed..."
PS: Anyone want to babysit for us 6-9:30pm on Tuesday the 20th of November so we can attend the 3rd class?
--
In passing news: an economist looks at dating - disspelling the Asian woman fetish myth; but supporting gender stereotypes:
We males are a gender of fragile egos in search of a pretty face and are threatened by brains or success that exceeds our own. Women, on the other hand, care more about how men think and perform, and they don't mind being outdone on those scores.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Why We Fight
Why We Fight (documentary film) is a terrific follow-up on the previous posts, in a nutshell "that capitalism is winning over democracy right now."
Favorite line of the movie, "I guarantee you, with war this profitable, we're going to be seeing a lot of it."
New found respect for Eisenhower. Excerpts from his farewell address, some quoted in the film
I've also answered a question I hadn't yet quite formulated (clearly, some logical brain processes at work): fear. The culture of fear is a natural consequence of this in that it justifies the military spending. No wonder insecurity stress and anxiety are the headline news everyday.
Favorite line of the movie, "I guarantee you, with war this profitable, we're going to be seeing a lot of it."
New found respect for Eisenhower. Excerpts from his farewell address, some quoted in the film
We now stand ten years past the midpoint of a century that has witnessed four major wars among great nations. Three of these involved our own country. Despite these holocausts America is today the strongest, the most influential and most productive nation in the world. Understandably proud of this pre-eminence, we yet realize that America's leadership and prestige depend, not merely upon our unmatched material progress, riches and military strength, but on how we use our power in the interests of world peace and human betterment.
A vital element in keeping the peace is our military establishment. Our arms must be mighty, ready for instant action, so that no potential aggressor may be tempted to risk his own destruction.
Our military organization today bears little relation to that known by any of my predecessors in peacetime, or indeed by the fighting men of World War II or Korea.
Until the latest of our world conflicts, the United States had no armaments industry. American makers of plowshares could, with time and as required, make swords as well. But now we can no longer risk emergency improvisation of national defense; we have been compelled to create a permanent armaments industry of vast proportions. Added to this, three and a half million men and women are directly engaged in the defense establishment. We annually spend on military security more than the net income of all United States corporations.
This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence -- economic, political, even spiritual -- is felt in every city, every State house, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources and livelihood are all involved; so is the very structure of our society.
In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the militaryindustrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.
We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.
Another factor in maintaining balance involves the element of time. As we peer into society's future, we -- you and I, and our government -- must avoid the impulse to live only for today, plundering, for our own ease and convenience, the precious resources of tomorrow. We cannot mortgage the material assets of our grandchildren without risking the loss also of their political and spiritual heritage. We want democracy to survive for all generations to come, not to become the insolvent phantom of tomorrow.
Down the long lane of the history yet to be written America knows that this world of ours, ever growing smaller, must avoid becoming a community of dreadful fear and hate, and be instead, a proud confederation of mutual trust and respect.
Such a confederation must be one of equals. The weakest must come to the conference table with the same confidence as do we, protected as we are by our moral, economic, and military strength. That table, though scarred by many past frustrations, cannot be abandoned for the certain agony of the battlefield.
Disarmament, with mutual honor and confidence, is a continuing imperative. Together we must learn how to compose differences, not with arms, but with intellect and decent purpose.
I've also answered a question I hadn't yet quite formulated (clearly, some logical brain processes at work): fear. The culture of fear is a natural consequence of this in that it justifies the military spending. No wonder insecurity stress and anxiety are the headline news everyday.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Following up on a recent read quoting US military spending of 450 billion, I did some quick mental math. Clearly that number was wrong - that's in the order of 1 1/4 billion dollars a day; even 'they' couldn't be spending that fast. Besides, Google wasn't yielding much info at first.
Till I hit upon the fact that the current defense budget is in fact 532.8 billion dollars, closer to 1 1/2 billion dollars. A. Day.
And that the 2008 budget calls for 717 billion dollars. 2 a day.
How?
The death and taxes 2008 poster provides an interesting visual representation of the 2008 federal discretionary budget (of which 67% is military/national security). 67 billion are set aside for Health and Human Services.
I must repeat myself though, how can almost 2 billion dollars be spent on offense and 'defense' every day? Even on holidays.
------
An article on adoption in a French parenting magazine grabbed my attention. France has recently set up a national adoption agency, prior to which it has been impossible to adopt foreign children. The agency comes under much criticism on its stance to refuse to retribute countries and institutions in exchange for children. They take the moral high stance that children are not a trade; critics claim that they need to get a reality check.
Despite declining numbers of children 'available' for adoption worldwide, the US adopts increasing numbers of foreign children. How come, asked frustrated infertile French adults?
Apparently, the US sets up bilateral agreements with poor countries, in which they pay for a quota of children to be 'given' to the US.
Read that again. The government is paying other countries for children. The French in me (i'm still 100% French says my passport) is shocked out of her socks.
What else hides in trade agreements?
I mean, we sort of know about the large chunks which are just money funneled back to the US, such as weapons sales and so on.
But who can help us and demistify those bilateral agreements, help us read between the lines? Any good links or clues appreciated, thx.
-----
"life liberty and the pursuit of happiness". Sounds familiar enough.
But I can't figure out what they meant by, the unalienable right to life. As opposed to the right to death? I don't believe abortion rights were at the forefront of their thinking, so what does that mean?
Till I hit upon the fact that the current defense budget is in fact 532.8 billion dollars, closer to 1 1/2 billion dollars. A. Day.
And that the 2008 budget calls for 717 billion dollars. 2 a day.
How?
The death and taxes 2008 poster provides an interesting visual representation of the 2008 federal discretionary budget (of which 67% is military/national security). 67 billion are set aside for Health and Human Services.
I must repeat myself though, how can almost 2 billion dollars be spent on offense and 'defense' every day? Even on holidays.
------
An article on adoption in a French parenting magazine grabbed my attention. France has recently set up a national adoption agency, prior to which it has been impossible to adopt foreign children. The agency comes under much criticism on its stance to refuse to retribute countries and institutions in exchange for children. They take the moral high stance that children are not a trade; critics claim that they need to get a reality check.
Despite declining numbers of children 'available' for adoption worldwide, the US adopts increasing numbers of foreign children. How come, asked frustrated infertile French adults?
Apparently, the US sets up bilateral agreements with poor countries, in which they pay for a quota of children to be 'given' to the US.
Read that again. The government is paying other countries for children. The French in me (i'm still 100% French says my passport) is shocked out of her socks.
What else hides in trade agreements?
I mean, we sort of know about the large chunks which are just money funneled back to the US, such as weapons sales and so on.
But who can help us and demistify those bilateral agreements, help us read between the lines? Any good links or clues appreciated, thx.
-----
"life liberty and the pursuit of happiness". Sounds familiar enough.
But I can't figure out what they meant by, the unalienable right to life. As opposed to the right to death? I don't believe abortion rights were at the forefront of their thinking, so what does that mean?
book reviews
Phew, it's been a long time coming.
You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation, by Deborah Tannen
Worthwhile reading if you're a woman struggling to comprehend inexplicable reactions of your grown mother. Tannen's writing style lacks in conciseness and effectiveness; but she gets her points across: [with a big IN GENERAL for everything that follows]
Most interesting was the spiralling out of control analysis, whereby the natural reflexes of a mother and her daughter just make each other worse - think mother wanting to be more involved in her daughter's life, and asking more questions, calling more frequently or dropping by more, and as a reaction her daughter stepping back more, not calling as much to not encourage this, hereby making the mother feel the urge to call even more, and so on to no good.
Identity and Violence, by Amartya Sen
Highly recommend it; a great deconstruction of the so-called "clash of civilizations" bs theory. Also not the most condensed writing though (or perhaps I'm simply impatient these days)
From the book cover:
Sen argues in this book that conflict and violence are sustained today, no less than in the past, by the illusion of a unique identity. Indeed, the world is increasingly taken to be a federation of religions (or of "culture" or "civilization"), ignoring the relevance of other ways in which people see themselves, involving class, gender, profession, language, literature, science, music, morals, or politics. Global attempts to stop such violence are also handicapped by the conceptual disarray generated by the presumption of singular and choiceless identity. When relations among different human beings are identified with a "clash of civilizations", or alternately with "amity among civilizations", human beings are miniaturized and deposited into little boxes.
Through his penetrating investigation of such diverse subjects as multiculturalism, postcolonialism, fundamentalism, terrorism, and globalization, Sen brings out the need for a clearheaded understanding of human freedom and the effectiveness of constructive public voice in global civil society. The world, Sen shows, can be made to move toward peace as firmly as it has recently spiraled toward violence and war.
Confessions of an Economic Hit Man, by John Perkins
I was entirely predisposed to love this book - finally, an insider spilling the beans about the corrupt world of large greedy corporations in cohute with the G5 governments and international institutions (world bank, IMF), and detailing their sneaky tactics of using bogus economic projections for engulfing poorer countries into endless debts all the while advancing the global empire of the corporatocracy.
Well, I almost liked it... Definitely recommend it for DJ (goes back to our discussions about whether US actions should be termed imperialist or not).
Definitely includes some interesting tidbits of information about the Summer Institute of Linguistics to name just one - a controversial missionary organization who got kicked out after allegations that it was performing the dirty work of oil companies and the CIA by kicking indigenous people out of their oil-rich land with tactics such as diarrhea-inducing food packages.
But what infuriates me is the lack of sophistication and believability in this book.
All the interesting people are 'beautiful'. The NSA connection is an utter guess. The one who co-opted him into becoming an economic hit man? disappeared magically after a few weeks, never to be heard of again. All the heads of states he's rubbed shoulders with are dead; who could dispute him? His conscience that started bugging him on page 1? 30 years later, he publishes. There is not a single fact in here which has not been disclosed previously (where is the insider information? the numbers to back his story?). Yet he was magically in all the exciting places at the right time, and always one of the almost good guys who wanted to mingle with the locals.
I am entirely dismayed that it only takes a guy like him to take down countries - one who's not even an economist, one who's not even very articulate, one whose knowledge of his historic models (e.g. Tom Paine) is amazingly vague.
There is no sophistication. And yet the wheel keeps on turning and the gap between the five wealthiest and five poorest countries keeps on widening despite all the wonderful 'successes' of our international institutions.
If there is no sophistication, why can't this be stopped?
Btw he's got a new book out, The Secret History of the American Empire.
I also started Evening News by Marly Swick and A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah, but I ended up putting both of them down.
The writings of both seems compelling, but neither subject matter is right for me at the moment.
You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation, by Deborah Tannen
Worthwhile reading if you're a woman struggling to comprehend inexplicable reactions of your grown mother. Tannen's writing style lacks in conciseness and effectiveness; but she gets her points across: [with a big IN GENERAL for everything that follows]
- that it's so painful and complicated because we're so close;
- that caring and criticizing can be two sides of the same coin;
- that daughters, only too aware of the influence their mother still has on them, generally significantly underestimate the power they also hold in their mothers' lives (both want approval);
- that having brothers and watching the different treatment they get from the same mother can sting;
- that grandkids is the most powerful weapon a daughter has against her own mother;
- that mothers feel compelled to protect their daughters - up until the point where mothers age and daughters take on that responsibility;
- that mothers are the lightrod for criticism: that truthfully daughters are more critical of them than of anyone else (apart from their own selves perhaps); and that daughters don't think twice about criticizing mom even for something for which she's partly or not at all guilty of. Because it's safe.
Most interesting was the spiralling out of control analysis, whereby the natural reflexes of a mother and her daughter just make each other worse - think mother wanting to be more involved in her daughter's life, and asking more questions, calling more frequently or dropping by more, and as a reaction her daughter stepping back more, not calling as much to not encourage this, hereby making the mother feel the urge to call even more, and so on to no good.
Identity and Violence, by Amartya Sen
Highly recommend it; a great deconstruction of the so-called "clash of civilizations" bs theory. Also not the most condensed writing though (or perhaps I'm simply impatient these days)
From the book cover:
Sen argues in this book that conflict and violence are sustained today, no less than in the past, by the illusion of a unique identity. Indeed, the world is increasingly taken to be a federation of religions (or of "culture" or "civilization"), ignoring the relevance of other ways in which people see themselves, involving class, gender, profession, language, literature, science, music, morals, or politics. Global attempts to stop such violence are also handicapped by the conceptual disarray generated by the presumption of singular and choiceless identity. When relations among different human beings are identified with a "clash of civilizations", or alternately with "amity among civilizations", human beings are miniaturized and deposited into little boxes.
Through his penetrating investigation of such diverse subjects as multiculturalism, postcolonialism, fundamentalism, terrorism, and globalization, Sen brings out the need for a clearheaded understanding of human freedom and the effectiveness of constructive public voice in global civil society. The world, Sen shows, can be made to move toward peace as firmly as it has recently spiraled toward violence and war.
Confessions of an Economic Hit Man, by John Perkins
I was entirely predisposed to love this book - finally, an insider spilling the beans about the corrupt world of large greedy corporations in cohute with the G5 governments and international institutions (world bank, IMF), and detailing their sneaky tactics of using bogus economic projections for engulfing poorer countries into endless debts all the while advancing the global empire of the corporatocracy.
Well, I almost liked it... Definitely recommend it for DJ (goes back to our discussions about whether US actions should be termed imperialist or not).
Definitely includes some interesting tidbits of information about the Summer Institute of Linguistics to name just one - a controversial missionary organization who got kicked out after allegations that it was performing the dirty work of oil companies and the CIA by kicking indigenous people out of their oil-rich land with tactics such as diarrhea-inducing food packages.
But what infuriates me is the lack of sophistication and believability in this book.
All the interesting people are 'beautiful'. The NSA connection is an utter guess. The one who co-opted him into becoming an economic hit man? disappeared magically after a few weeks, never to be heard of again. All the heads of states he's rubbed shoulders with are dead; who could dispute him? His conscience that started bugging him on page 1? 30 years later, he publishes. There is not a single fact in here which has not been disclosed previously (where is the insider information? the numbers to back his story?). Yet he was magically in all the exciting places at the right time, and always one of the almost good guys who wanted to mingle with the locals.
I am entirely dismayed that it only takes a guy like him to take down countries - one who's not even an economist, one who's not even very articulate, one whose knowledge of his historic models (e.g. Tom Paine) is amazingly vague.
There is no sophistication. And yet the wheel keeps on turning and the gap between the five wealthiest and five poorest countries keeps on widening despite all the wonderful 'successes' of our international institutions.
If there is no sophistication, why can't this be stopped?
Btw he's got a new book out, The Secret History of the American Empire.
I also started Evening News by Marly Swick and A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah, but I ended up putting both of them down.
The writings of both seems compelling, but neither subject matter is right for me at the moment.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
misc
Congress investigating possible political interference by the Bush administration in matters of public health as reported by former surgeon general Carmona : pro-breastfeeding ads toned down significantly under pressure from formula manufacturers.
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Attention disorder linked to childhood TV viewing ; Or is it the food additives; Both?
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Thanks for comments on preschool webcams. As DJ mentioned, it's about trust. It's also very much about fear, and the belief that to be a good parent is to be an extremely anxious parent. Anxiety sells, I am told, particularly for the upper middle class, and particularly for women.
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Christmas came on September 4th this year for us. I clutched my bottle of perfume lovingly. But mostly I danced a dance of joy in the middle of my French food items.
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Not everyone wants to pull off an exterior paint color called Rainstorm in the Pacific Northwest!
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Attention disorder linked to childhood TV viewing ; Or is it the food additives; Both?
---
Thanks for comments on preschool webcams. As DJ mentioned, it's about trust. It's also very much about fear, and the belief that to be a good parent is to be an extremely anxious parent. Anxiety sells, I am told, particularly for the upper middle class, and particularly for women.
---
Christmas came on September 4th this year for us. I clutched my bottle of perfume lovingly. But mostly I danced a dance of joy in the middle of my French food items.
---
Not everyone wants to pull off an exterior paint color called Rainstorm in the Pacific Northwest!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
On the longing of not living lightly
I long for music ringing through the house.
I want a big pot to boil the last white corn ears of the summer.
The travel perfume has run out, but an almost-full bottle is arriving next week, and I know I'll want to change fragrance at the end of the pregnancy, so I cannot go out and buy another bottle.
I want a bigger wardrobe for going out to dinner with the uninvited laws than the 3 items I've been cycling through for the last 2-3 months.
I want my q-tips, dammit - I don't want to have to buy another 500 when I know I have 490 coming in the truck next week, and so I ration my last few q-tips.
I do believe in treading lightly on this earth, but if it's a journey, I may be on the path to lighter living, certainly not there yet. I'm still in the self-pity portion of rich privileged consumerists.
I want a big pot to boil the last white corn ears of the summer.
The travel perfume has run out, but an almost-full bottle is arriving next week, and I know I'll want to change fragrance at the end of the pregnancy, so I cannot go out and buy another bottle.
I want a bigger wardrobe for going out to dinner with the uninvited laws than the 3 items I've been cycling through for the last 2-3 months.
I want my q-tips, dammit - I don't want to have to buy another 500 when I know I have 490 coming in the truck next week, and so I ration my last few q-tips.
I do believe in treading lightly on this earth, but if it's a journey, I may be on the path to lighter living, certainly not there yet. I'm still in the self-pity portion of rich privileged consumerists.
Friday, August 10, 2007
family jewels
Two months ago almost, the CIA declassified its "family jewels" - documents relating to the violation of its charter over 25 years until the 1970s where revelations stopped (some?) illegal wiretapping, domestic surveillance, assassination plots, and human experimentation.
The 693-page file is available and searchable on George Washington University's National Security Archive website.
While most are concerned with the obvious harassment of dissidents, I'm kind of interested in number 10 on M. Colby's list (see below), "Behavior modification experiments on "unwitting" US citizens."
And why the quotes around unwitting?
The 693-page file is available and searchable on George Washington University's National Security Archive website.
While most are concerned with the obvious harassment of dissidents, I'm kind of interested in number 10 on M. Colby's list (see below), "Behavior modification experiments on "unwitting" US citizens."
And why the quotes around unwitting?
On December 31, 1974, CIA director Colby and the CIA general counsel John Warner met with the deputy attorney general, Lawrence Silberman, and his associate, James Wilderotter, to brief Justice "in connection with the recent New York Times articles" on CIA matters that "presented legal questions." Colby's list included 18 specifics:
1. Confinement of a Russian defector that "might be regarded as a violation of the kidnapping laws."
2. Wiretapping of two syndicated columnists, Robert Allen and Paul Scott.
3. Physical surveillance of muckraker Jack Anderson and his associates, including current Fox News anchor Brit Hume.
4. Physical surveillance of then Washington Post reporter Michael Getler.
5. Break-in at the home of a former CIA employee.
6. Break-in at the office of a former defector.
7. Warrantless entry into the apartment of a former CIA employee.
8. Mail opening from 1953 to 1973 of letters to and from the Soviet Union.
9. Mail opening from 1969 to 1972 of letters to and from China.
10. Behavior modification experiments on "unwitting" U.S. citizens.
11. Assassination plots against Castro, Lumumba, and Trujillo (on the latter, "no active part" but a "faint connection" to the killers).
12. Surveillance of dissident groups between 1967 and 1971.
13. Surveillance of a particular Latin American female and U.S. citizens in Detroit.
14. Surveillance of a CIA critic and former officer, Victor Marchetti.
15. Amassing of files on 9,900-plus Americans related to the antiwar movement.
16. Polygraph experiments with the San Mateo, California, sheriff.
17. Fake CIA identification documents that might violate state laws.
18. Testing of electronic equipment on US telephone circuits.
camera-ville
The mind is a powerful distorting tool. You know how you forget why certain people are your friends. I for one become startled all over again when we spend time with these people and (wow!) we have such a great time! imagine that! with friends! and they're funny and warm and friendly and accomodating and inviting and generous.
Which is a very good thing. Which is also to say that I was startled when the topic of cameras in preschools came up. And some friends (parents) were upset that they could no longer peek into their son's classroom because some parents objected. On the grounds of anonymity probably based on their wealth or what not.
Everyone nodded as to why this was such a pity, such a convenience for the mom while she was on business trips to Asia to be able to see her son. But the crux of their argument was that 'if the teacher's not doing anything wrong, then how could she mind?'.
I was startled to be alone in my shock and dismay. Webcams? for 3 year olds. why?
Did a little research. Webcams in preschools here (and classrooms in general) are very common. I came across plenty of commercial material and no debate board.
So I've been thinking this over. Some running thoughts:
- when A was sharing a nanny with a younger boy at the boy's parents', and the mom decided to study to become a teacher instead of going back to the high-tech industry, she said she'd be studying at the library to give the nanny her own space to do her things. That was, to me, a very wise and mature call I respected. Mature in seeing how more difficult it can be to be a nanny while parents hover around. Which is a situation I'm trying to balance in my home also at the moment.
- People act differentely when they know they're being watched. We're not quite talking The Stanford Prison Experiment with sadistic college-students-turned-prison-guards and psychologically-broken-down-college-students-turned-prisoners, I can see that.
But it bugs me. A heckuva lot. Why? Any thoughts?
Which is a very good thing. Which is also to say that I was startled when the topic of cameras in preschools came up. And some friends (parents) were upset that they could no longer peek into their son's classroom because some parents objected. On the grounds of anonymity probably based on their wealth or what not.
Everyone nodded as to why this was such a pity, such a convenience for the mom while she was on business trips to Asia to be able to see her son. But the crux of their argument was that 'if the teacher's not doing anything wrong, then how could she mind?'.
I was startled to be alone in my shock and dismay. Webcams? for 3 year olds. why?
Did a little research. Webcams in preschools here (and classrooms in general) are very common. I came across plenty of commercial material and no debate board.
So I've been thinking this over. Some running thoughts:
- when A was sharing a nanny with a younger boy at the boy's parents', and the mom decided to study to become a teacher instead of going back to the high-tech industry, she said she'd be studying at the library to give the nanny her own space to do her things. That was, to me, a very wise and mature call I respected. Mature in seeing how more difficult it can be to be a nanny while parents hover around. Which is a situation I'm trying to balance in my home also at the moment.
- People act differentely when they know they're being watched. We're not quite talking The Stanford Prison Experiment with sadistic college-students-turned-prison-guards and psychologically-broken-down-college-students-turned-prisoners, I can see that.
But it bugs me. A heckuva lot. Why? Any thoughts?
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Women Don't Ask continued
Years ago CMU's Linda Babcock wrote a book on her research findings on the negotiation differences between men and women - succintly how women negotiate less and the high cost they pay for it. The oft-quoted solution was for women to get trained at being more aggressive, and ask for more.
An article in the Washington Post follows up on her research with colleague Hannah Riley Bowles.
And Reuters contributes another story to continue painting this rosy picture. Now surely, none of us know of a company where anger and pounding on the table or one's chest can be viewed as positive actions.
Victoria Brescoll, a Yale post-doc, conducted three tests in which men and women recruited randomly watched videos of a job interview and were asked to rate the applicant's status and assign them a salary.
When status was factored into the roles,
An article in the Washington Post follows up on her research with colleague Hannah Riley Bowles.
"What we found across all the studies is men were always less willing to work with a woman who had attempted to negotiate than with a woman who did not. They always preferred to work with a woman who stayed mum. But it made no difference to the men whether a guy had chosen to negotiate or not."
"This isn't about fixing the women," Bowles said. "It isn't about telling women, 'You need self-confidence or training.' They are responding to incentives within the social environment. The point of this paper is: Yes, there is an economic rationale to negotiate, but you have to weigh that against social risks of negotiating. What we show is those risks are higher for women than for men."
And Reuters contributes another story to continue painting this rosy picture. Now surely, none of us know of a company where anger and pounding on the table or one's chest can be viewed as positive actions.
Victoria Brescoll, a Yale post-doc, conducted three tests in which men and women recruited randomly watched videos of a job interview and were asked to rate the applicant's status and assign them a salary.
Participants conferred the most status on the man who said he was angry, the second most on the woman who said she was sad, slightly less on the man who said he was sad, and least of all by a sizable margin on the woman who said she was angry.
When status was factored into the roles,
"Participants rated the angry female CEO as significantly less competent than all of the other targets, including even the angry female trainee," Brescoll wrote. She said they viewed angry females as significantly more "out of control."
Friday, August 03, 2007
geraniums bleh
I have no fondness for geraniums - too many leaves, not enough class.
I have no fondness either for housecleaning.
But combine the two and wow!, Mrs Meyers' geranium countertop spray, makes me scrub my kitchen every night.
I've branched out onto a bunch of other products in that same brand... wow again: what a concept - being able to wash mirrors and windows without feeling like you're inhaling nasty toxins with every spray.
it's a small revolution, but a revolution nonetheless.
and part of my grander scheme to consistently go more natural (i've mentioned that previously). the current plan is whenever i need to replace something or buy anew, i look for eco friendly alternatives. works for me. and the countertops.
I have no fondness either for housecleaning.
But combine the two and wow!, Mrs Meyers' geranium countertop spray, makes me scrub my kitchen every night.
I've branched out onto a bunch of other products in that same brand... wow again: what a concept - being able to wash mirrors and windows without feeling like you're inhaling nasty toxins with every spray.
it's a small revolution, but a revolution nonetheless.
and part of my grander scheme to consistently go more natural (i've mentioned that previously). the current plan is whenever i need to replace something or buy anew, i look for eco friendly alternatives. works for me. and the countertops.
bench marks
I remember this time last time. weeks 12, 13, 14. Sitting on a bench with my friend Inka in the Clare Hall courtyard in Cambridge and discussing that the books said I should be feeling less exhausted any day now. Of course the days rolled on and the exhaustion didn't go anywhere. Until I forgot to keep track and eventually the fatigue got more reasonable.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
"ethical duty to enjoy oneself"
"Mrs. Post would have understood that. She wrote in a world in which mourning was still recognized, allowed, not hidden from view. Philippe Ariès, in a series of lectures he delivered at Johns Hopkins in 1973 and later published as Western Attitudes toward Death: From the Middle Ages to the Present, noted that beginning about 1930 there had been in most Western countries and particularly in the United States a revolution in accepted attitudes toward death. "Death", he wrote, "so omnipresent in the past that it was familiar, would be effaced, would disappear. It would become shameful and forbidden." The English social anthropologist Geoffrey Gorer, in his 1965 Death, Grief, and Mourning, had described this rejection of public mourning as a result of the increasing pressure of a new "ethical duty to enjoy oneself", a novel "imperative to do nothing which might diminish the enjoyment of others." In both England and the United States, he observed, the contemporary trend was "to treat mourning as morbid self-indulgence, and to give social admiration to the bereaved who hide their grief so fully that no one would guess anything had happened."
One way in which grief gets hidden is that death now occurs largely offstage. In the earlier tradition from which Mrs. Post wrote, the act of dying had not yet been professionalized. It did not typically involve hospitals. Women died in childbirth. Children died of fevers. Cancer was untreatable. Death was up close, at home. The average adult was expected to deal competently, and also sensitively, with its aftermath. "
- Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking
One way in which grief gets hidden is that death now occurs largely offstage. In the earlier tradition from which Mrs. Post wrote, the act of dying had not yet been professionalized. It did not typically involve hospitals. Women died in childbirth. Children died of fevers. Cancer was untreatable. Death was up close, at home. The average adult was expected to deal competently, and also sensitively, with its aftermath. "
- Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking
Friday, July 20, 2007
We've arrived, obviously, and are surviving camping-style with much borrowed goods from caring friends.
Truth is, though, we're in hiding. I can't put my finger on it, but I'm not too keen yet on reconnecting with local friends, especially those who do not have an infant or toddler.
Our lives have changed that much.
I have no time. We have no nanny as of yet, we have a million things to do around the house. We've just as of yesterday been connected to the internet (but no wireless router or printer/fax/scanner/copier as of yet). And the little one is ill. Waking up 3 to 4 times a night. And giving us a heckuva time trying to put her down for her naps. We are not in full working mode, and any additional complexity, such as seeming gracious and having reasonable meals available for friends who may come over, may make me keel over.
But also we have two secrets, one of which is hard to share without inviting pity upon myself, which I'm not interested in receiving, particularly from those who have not gone through something similar.
---
I was deeply stressing out about going back to work, then as I was about to write 'call work' on my day planner, I realized that I was about to jot down "call MSFT" instead of the caring, deeply-supportive and flexible women's organization I now work for.
I am so grateful that the location of our new home means generally not having to drive by the campuses and revisit that past.
Truth is, though, we're in hiding. I can't put my finger on it, but I'm not too keen yet on reconnecting with local friends, especially those who do not have an infant or toddler.
Our lives have changed that much.
I have no time. We have no nanny as of yet, we have a million things to do around the house. We've just as of yesterday been connected to the internet (but no wireless router or printer/fax/scanner/copier as of yet). And the little one is ill. Waking up 3 to 4 times a night. And giving us a heckuva time trying to put her down for her naps. We are not in full working mode, and any additional complexity, such as seeming gracious and having reasonable meals available for friends who may come over, may make me keel over.
But also we have two secrets, one of which is hard to share without inviting pity upon myself, which I'm not interested in receiving, particularly from those who have not gone through something similar.
---
I was deeply stressing out about going back to work, then as I was about to write 'call work' on my day planner, I realized that I was about to jot down "call MSFT" instead of the caring, deeply-supportive and flexible women's organization I now work for.
I am so grateful that the location of our new home means generally not having to drive by the campuses and revisit that past.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
women and technology
The authors conclude that their findings support a theory that females may have played a similarly important role in the evolution of tool technology among early humans.
read on about chimps
Thursday, May 10, 2007
And the winner is ...
Nah, you'll have to keep reading to find out.
So, infants watch too much tv, mothers' health takes a beating when their child doesn't sleep well at night, and in other breaking news, it is more difficult to be poor and sick than rich and in good health.
But seriously. 40 percents of infants under three months of age watching over an hour of tv or dvd's a day? do you know what a three month old can do?
And what are they not yet up to?
"The American Academy of Pediatrics is clear in their recommendations for a media-blackout for kids under 2 years of age... Many parents have accepted the guidelines on vaccinations and no spanking. But television and other forms of media are different. Most parents don't believe that TV is potentially dangerous to their children at such a young age."
It wasn't intentional that I would mix this topic in with this post on our next destination, but in fact it's quite appropriate. We're moving back to the emerald city in the next couple of months. And while I know it's the right thing for us to do, I'm alarmed that lil A will be growing up in the US. No offense intended to the perfectly healthy and normal Americans I know and appreciate, but I do think it's a much harder country to be a parent in if you want a grounded happy kid.
* American Academy of Pediatrics' "Caring for your baby and young child"
Nah, you'll have to keep reading to find out.
So, infants watch too much tv, mothers' health takes a beating when their child doesn't sleep well at night, and in other breaking news, it is more difficult to be poor and sick than rich and in good health.
But seriously. 40 percents of infants under three months of age watching over an hour of tv or dvd's a day? do you know what a three month old can do?
"stretches legs out and kicks when lying on stomach or back,
takes swipes at dangling objects with hands,
begins to develop a social smile"*
And what are they not yet up to?
can't sit on their own,
don't have full color vision yet,
distance vision hasn't matured,
ability to track moving objects needs a lot of improvement,
don't respond to their own name
"The American Academy of Pediatrics is clear in their recommendations for a media-blackout for kids under 2 years of age... Many parents have accepted the guidelines on vaccinations and no spanking. But television and other forms of media are different. Most parents don't believe that TV is potentially dangerous to their children at such a young age."
It wasn't intentional that I would mix this topic in with this post on our next destination, but in fact it's quite appropriate. We're moving back to the emerald city in the next couple of months. And while I know it's the right thing for us to do, I'm alarmed that lil A will be growing up in the US. No offense intended to the perfectly healthy and normal Americans I know and appreciate, but I do think it's a much harder country to be a parent in if you want a grounded happy kid.
* American Academy of Pediatrics' "Caring for your baby and young child"
clippings
When lil A was a few months old (three? six? I already can no longer remember), I mentioned during a visit to the pediatrician that she didn't always want her vitamins, to which our beloved pediatrician casually remarked that indeed I might need to outfox lil A.
outfox? outwit? trick? outsmart? manipulate? (the French word was 'ruser').
I pondered and pondered... was it even ethical? I mean, she was clearly pretty helpless without me in the world. And she trusted me so much, you know. And ... well, did she really need her vitamins so much that I should use my experience and wits to get my way?
The things you pick up on that steep parenting learning curve! Now I 'ruse' to keep her on the changemat long enough to snap a clean diaper on, and I 'ruse' to get her shoes on when we've run out of the 20 minutes allotted in my head to her trying to do it on her own.
And who knows, maybe when she's a mom, brilliant research will have shown that this is really not a healthy basis for a relationship with your child, and that this impairs their trust and judgment, but for now, I know no better, and I know no better way. So the bribery continues: with the ceiling light in the car when she won't sit in her car seat, and with yet another reading of "off to bed, little monster" when it's nighttime.
I was cleaning up the kitchen this morning after a wonderful wonderful visit from our dear friends H&H, and clipped the little one's tiny barrettes onto the piece of cardboard they came with. the barrettes are tiny, and, you may have noticed, the little one doesn't have quite that much hair yet. But in between fashion catwalks, I diligently clip them back onto that silly piece of cardboard. And somewhere deep inside, I truly believe that as long as I can not lose any one of those 4 tiny things, and if they're safely clipped together, that I can also hold it all together in my life!
outfox? outwit? trick? outsmart? manipulate? (the French word was 'ruser').
I pondered and pondered... was it even ethical? I mean, she was clearly pretty helpless without me in the world. And she trusted me so much, you know. And ... well, did she really need her vitamins so much that I should use my experience and wits to get my way?
The things you pick up on that steep parenting learning curve! Now I 'ruse' to keep her on the changemat long enough to snap a clean diaper on, and I 'ruse' to get her shoes on when we've run out of the 20 minutes allotted in my head to her trying to do it on her own.
And who knows, maybe when she's a mom, brilliant research will have shown that this is really not a healthy basis for a relationship with your child, and that this impairs their trust and judgment, but for now, I know no better, and I know no better way. So the bribery continues: with the ceiling light in the car when she won't sit in her car seat, and with yet another reading of "off to bed, little monster" when it's nighttime.
I was cleaning up the kitchen this morning after a wonderful wonderful visit from our dear friends H&H, and clipped the little one's tiny barrettes onto the piece of cardboard they came with. the barrettes are tiny, and, you may have noticed, the little one doesn't have quite that much hair yet. But in between fashion catwalks, I diligently clip them back onto that silly piece of cardboard. And somewhere deep inside, I truly believe that as long as I can not lose any one of those 4 tiny things, and if they're safely clipped together, that I can also hold it all together in my life!
Saturday, May 05, 2007
little miss sunshine
What with all this talk of illness and sleep deprivation, I've probably completely failed to convey the most salient aspect of the little one's personnality: she's happy!
We can spend half an hour on the parking lot of the bakery waving hi and bye to shoppers; she'll smile to them all.
When we go to playgrounds, she notices that the bigger kids don't always return her fervent smiles and admiration, but it doesn't stop her.
When her teeth are giving her the runs and she clenches her teeth on her shoe soles for comfort, she still looks up occasionally to wink.
And when I eat her up with kisses and tickles, she laughs so hard she invariably gets the hiccups.
"Some days you just have to create your own sunshine" proclaims one of the many postcards planted around my office. She's my little sunshine.
We can spend half an hour on the parking lot of the bakery waving hi and bye to shoppers; she'll smile to them all.
When we go to playgrounds, she notices that the bigger kids don't always return her fervent smiles and admiration, but it doesn't stop her.
When her teeth are giving her the runs and she clenches her teeth on her shoe soles for comfort, she still looks up occasionally to wink.
And when I eat her up with kisses and tickles, she laughs so hard she invariably gets the hiccups.
"Some days you just have to create your own sunshine" proclaims one of the many postcards planted around my office. She's my little sunshine.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
grace under pressure
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer - Albert Camus
(Au milieu de l'hiver, j'ai decouvert en moi un invincible ete. )
Pretty cool, uh?
---
Little known fact: it takes 50 psi to 'push' (expel, rocket out) a baby. That's 344 737.865 pascals, and more than you'd fill your car tires with.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
potty mouth
Do you want to go peepee? She shakes her head from right to left and back again. I'm not sure but I think this time she means yes. She forgets that no is the same headshake.
She gives me a wide grin - now is that a "let's play I pretend I want to go but instead chase me around the house" grin or a "glad you understand me" grin?
I'm game, we head upstairs to the bathroom. Pants, pull-down diaper, grab the potty-preferred book. She sits.
Intense look of concentration on her face and ... a massive fart is all we get this time!
An hour or so later, she hides underneath the kitchen table, obviously getting ready for a bowel movement. I ask her if she wants the potty. Head shake, head shake, head shake. She looks away, I'm pretty sure she means no. And when she's done with the real thing, she then entertains me with some nice fake grunts. What a hoot.
Up to the tub we go. She refuses to pee before stepping in. Stands up from the potty, and pees on the bathroom floor. I try not to laugh at the absurdity of it all, at her clownliness in this small regression.
She gives me a wide grin - now is that a "let's play I pretend I want to go but instead chase me around the house" grin or a "glad you understand me" grin?
I'm game, we head upstairs to the bathroom. Pants, pull-down diaper, grab the potty-preferred book. She sits.
Intense look of concentration on her face and ... a massive fart is all we get this time!
An hour or so later, she hides underneath the kitchen table, obviously getting ready for a bowel movement. I ask her if she wants the potty. Head shake, head shake, head shake. She looks away, I'm pretty sure she means no. And when she's done with the real thing, she then entertains me with some nice fake grunts. What a hoot.
Up to the tub we go. She refuses to pee before stepping in. Stands up from the potty, and pees on the bathroom floor. I try not to laugh at the absurdity of it all, at her clownliness in this small regression.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
heads above water and bottles of emotions
The bad news start rolling in, and I quickly run down the list of available friends whose heads are above water, to see whose shoulder I can lean on without drowning them. And I do this month after month until it seems, right now, hardly anyone is left whose head is safely above water.
What is going on in the world right now?
Which is not to say that I am not happy. I rejoice at every bird I see on a telephone line, and every butterfly I catch at the corner of my eyes, and want to point them out , "bird!", "butterfly!", fully expecting a "duh" and wide-eyed smile in return - only it's not always to the little one I find myself making mentions of various animals.
They say your heart grows when your first child is born, and I believe that. But I am also in the midst of too much at once. Too many changes. And I am like a woman lost at sea looking for a little island of respite, knowing though from looking above that a big storm of change is coming. So I bottle the current emotions up, wondering when they'll get to come up.
And I think of holocaust survivors (yes, I certainly don't come short in the melodrama department). While current wisdom claims that stuff has got to 'come out', has got to be out in the open and spoken and analyzed, the holocaust survivors who were able to create a rather normal family life for themselves were in fact the ones who did bottle it all up and keep it all inside and repress it far far down.
What does that mean for the rest of us with mini-size dramas in our lives?
What is going on in the world right now?
Which is not to say that I am not happy. I rejoice at every bird I see on a telephone line, and every butterfly I catch at the corner of my eyes, and want to point them out , "bird!", "butterfly!", fully expecting a "duh" and wide-eyed smile in return - only it's not always to the little one I find myself making mentions of various animals.
They say your heart grows when your first child is born, and I believe that. But I am also in the midst of too much at once. Too many changes. And I am like a woman lost at sea looking for a little island of respite, knowing though from looking above that a big storm of change is coming. So I bottle the current emotions up, wondering when they'll get to come up.
And I think of holocaust survivors (yes, I certainly don't come short in the melodrama department). While current wisdom claims that stuff has got to 'come out', has got to be out in the open and spoken and analyzed, the holocaust survivors who were able to create a rather normal family life for themselves were in fact the ones who did bottle it all up and keep it all inside and repress it far far down.
What does that mean for the rest of us with mini-size dramas in our lives?
Friday, April 13, 2007
personnally
I must be a cry baby these days. I mean, you tell me a story about Inuit women asked by the WHO not to breastfeed their children because of high PCB levels in their milk (our fault), and my heart ungracefully twists itself in knots of sadness, frustration and empathy.
Or you tell me the countless stories of women who must choose between continuing to be their husbands' punching balls or prostitutes, and never seeing their tiny children again. And then I just get ANGRY. And horrified. I clam up; I cannot imagine a life where I would be forced to leave my little one behind for my own physical survival.
So yup, the personal is political. And in this case, if you have thirty minutes this weekend, read up on Iranian women's ongoing civic and peaceful fight, and consider signing their petition.
Or you tell me the countless stories of women who must choose between continuing to be their husbands' punching balls or prostitutes, and never seeing their tiny children again. And then I just get ANGRY. And horrified. I clam up; I cannot imagine a life where I would be forced to leave my little one behind for my own physical survival.
So yup, the personal is political. And in this case, if you have thirty minutes this weekend, read up on Iranian women's ongoing civic and peaceful fight, and consider signing their petition.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
calendar
I love calendars. They're the perfect excuse for splurging for 12 gorgeous and gloriously glossy pages of inspiration.
Yet we have no calendar for 2007. I now find this quite telling: we've gotten sucked into a kind of timeless spiral of ear/eye/nose infections and strep for the little one - since January 1st, number of weeks entirely free of illness or antibiotics: 0. And high level of domesticity for me (never before entering the mother club have I had to pay such close attention to laundries and groceries and bed times and dust bunnies (she likes to eat them)).
Clearly we would have lost track of time were it not for lil A. Who astounds* me: she easily learned the names of all 8 adults present here for Easter weekend, she stacks blocks and sorts stuff, she hums and mimes her favorite songs, she instantly got what the potty is for, she's already starting to do pretend play, and she retells short stories (an airplane flew overhead, the cat was here then ran away). I keep thinking about what it means in terms of human development: we develop a sense of imagination before we even know how to speak, how to hold a pencil, how to walk down a full flight of stairs, how to tie a shoelace, how to put a shirt on.
*: I have no shame saying I'm astounded by her, because I continue to live in a state of denial about the fact that she 'belongs' to me. I keep thinking that she's a wonderful (and challenging) gift that somehow fell into my lap. And I don't think it's because she looks nothing at all like me, because I'm told that personality wise she's a spitting image of my baby self.
Btw - I'll try to post pictures soon.
Yet we have no calendar for 2007. I now find this quite telling: we've gotten sucked into a kind of timeless spiral of ear/eye/nose infections and strep for the little one - since January 1st, number of weeks entirely free of illness or antibiotics: 0. And high level of domesticity for me (never before entering the mother club have I had to pay such close attention to laundries and groceries and bed times and dust bunnies (she likes to eat them)).
Clearly we would have lost track of time were it not for lil A. Who astounds* me: she easily learned the names of all 8 adults present here for Easter weekend, she stacks blocks and sorts stuff, she hums and mimes her favorite songs, she instantly got what the potty is for, she's already starting to do pretend play, and she retells short stories (an airplane flew overhead, the cat was here then ran away). I keep thinking about what it means in terms of human development: we develop a sense of imagination before we even know how to speak, how to hold a pencil, how to walk down a full flight of stairs, how to tie a shoelace, how to put a shirt on.
*: I have no shame saying I'm astounded by her, because I continue to live in a state of denial about the fact that she 'belongs' to me. I keep thinking that she's a wonderful (and challenging) gift that somehow fell into my lap. And I don't think it's because she looks nothing at all like me, because I'm told that personality wise she's a spitting image of my baby self.
Btw - I'll try to post pictures soon.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
sleep, cats and laughter
Self-confidence is an elusive thing.
I have been putting the little one down for the night 400 times, and yet I still doubt my ability to accomplish it.
And I'm not pulling the impressive number 400 out of my French derrière; I'm counting 365-2+28+11 = 402.
---
Tonight's been tougher than usual. For a change, she doesn't have an ear infection: she's got strep. She's already woken up 4 times screaming since I put her down 2 hours ago and change.
---
A child's sleeping pattern is absolutely the number one parameter in parents' sanity. It's taken me a year to be comfortable with what we've accomplished: I used to believe that there might have been a way she'd have slept better. Maybe if we'd rocked her more? or less? Or if we'd treated her with anti-reflux drugs? or anti-allergy? Or gone totally drug-free? Or danced around a fire in the garden on one foot on a full moon while chanting an ancient hymn?
My point is; if your child is a 3 hour napper, that's time right there to do some cleaning and cooking, or emailing a hundred friends, or sorting our your taxes in two countries, or taking a nice long luxurious shower and washing and drying your hair and giving yourself a foot massage; or writing a novel; or getting a few hours of work in so you can go to sleep at a reasonable hour at night.
My point is; I'm jealous of parents whose kids sleep more.
---
A's got a serious sense of humor. My father was discovering YouTube and surfing funny home videos of cats (yes, totally harmless). She just started laughing hysterically at the sight of those cats, getting the rest of us to collapse in laughter. She's too much !
Who knew us humans developed a sense of humor at such a young age?
I have been putting the little one down for the night 400 times, and yet I still doubt my ability to accomplish it.
And I'm not pulling the impressive number 400 out of my French derrière; I'm counting 365-2+28+11 = 402.
---
Tonight's been tougher than usual. For a change, she doesn't have an ear infection: she's got strep. She's already woken up 4 times screaming since I put her down 2 hours ago and change.
---
A child's sleeping pattern is absolutely the number one parameter in parents' sanity. It's taken me a year to be comfortable with what we've accomplished: I used to believe that there might have been a way she'd have slept better. Maybe if we'd rocked her more? or less? Or if we'd treated her with anti-reflux drugs? or anti-allergy? Or gone totally drug-free? Or danced around a fire in the garden on one foot on a full moon while chanting an ancient hymn?
My point is; if your child is a 3 hour napper, that's time right there to do some cleaning and cooking, or emailing a hundred friends, or sorting our your taxes in two countries, or taking a nice long luxurious shower and washing and drying your hair and giving yourself a foot massage; or writing a novel; or getting a few hours of work in so you can go to sleep at a reasonable hour at night.
My point is; I'm jealous of parents whose kids sleep more.
---
A's got a serious sense of humor. My father was discovering YouTube and surfing funny home videos of cats (yes, totally harmless). She just started laughing hysterically at the sight of those cats, getting the rest of us to collapse in laughter. She's too much !
Who knew us humans developed a sense of humor at such a young age?
Monday, March 12, 2007
flashback
We had an italian friend over for lunch last week-end, a Sicilian at that, who's just left Italy recently.
The lunch was somewhat akin to walking through a field of land mines.
- Pick up a pizza for a quick bite?
-Oh no, pizzas in France are horrible. Instead, let me cook for you. But wait, what brand of pasta do you have at home?
And so the pasta brand came under scrutiny (thankfully Barilla passed the test as the minimal standard accepted by him).
Then came the toppings: no cream in carbonara! It's from Rome ! No cream, that's not authentic!
No bread either to be served with a pasta meal! And certainly no grated swiss cheese !
At this point, P was hesitating between wide-eyed amazement and simply laughing it off.
No twirling spaghettis in a big spoon! And no cutting them either ! (as he turned his gaze away in shock). Not to mention NEVER reheat pasta.
Said italian also threatened to kick a Finnish housemate out of his own apartment for considering seasoning his pasta with ketchup.
Yet he eyed my vanilla flan tart and approved, "Brava, brava".
I didn't have the heart to tell him that while I make cakes and pies and mousses and souffles from scratch; flan is the one thing I make from a mix because that's the way my mother has always done it.
Strangely, I could see myself 12 years back in him. Freshly arrived in the US, insisting that "croissants" be pronounced correctly and never topped with butter, jam, or anything else. Insisting upon American idiocy in so many ways.
How far I've come. Or have I? ;)
The lunch was somewhat akin to walking through a field of land mines.
- Pick up a pizza for a quick bite?
-Oh no, pizzas in France are horrible. Instead, let me cook for you. But wait, what brand of pasta do you have at home?
And so the pasta brand came under scrutiny (thankfully Barilla passed the test as the minimal standard accepted by him).
Then came the toppings: no cream in carbonara! It's from Rome ! No cream, that's not authentic!
No bread either to be served with a pasta meal! And certainly no grated swiss cheese !
At this point, P was hesitating between wide-eyed amazement and simply laughing it off.
No twirling spaghettis in a big spoon! And no cutting them either ! (as he turned his gaze away in shock). Not to mention NEVER reheat pasta.
Said italian also threatened to kick a Finnish housemate out of his own apartment for considering seasoning his pasta with ketchup.
Yet he eyed my vanilla flan tart and approved, "Brava, brava".
I didn't have the heart to tell him that while I make cakes and pies and mousses and souffles from scratch; flan is the one thing I make from a mix because that's the way my mother has always done it.
Strangely, I could see myself 12 years back in him. Freshly arrived in the US, insisting that "croissants" be pronounced correctly and never topped with butter, jam, or anything else. Insisting upon American idiocy in so many ways.
How far I've come. Or have I? ;)
Thursday, February 15, 2007
petting zoo
We've found a polite baby-sitter whom the little one gets along with great. yay. So we tried to go to the movies for the first time in a year and a half. and failed. And failed again. And again. Until eventually we succeeded and went to see Iwo Jima but ended up seeing The Last Scottish King.
But that's not at all the point of this post. The point is that during one of those missed movie opportunities, P and I were having all kinds of interesting talks. Somehow I got on the topic of comparing the US to a big jungle and France to a petting zoo. I don't know where the inspiration came from, but it actually fits rather well.
In one case you can be in any of the strata of the food chain of the jungle - some of them suck real bad. In the other, you are guaranteed food and health care and a roof and some level of protection from the lions, because, really, there are no lions in petting zoos.
But what do you do if you're in the petting zoo and one of you wants to be king of the jungle?
---
Most popular video online in France last week: tv journalism account of GMOs (genetically modified organisms) in food causing lesions in liver, pancreas and testicles; accompanied by the cover by mansonto and governments; outrage over protection of private company's economic interest vs. public health.
But that's not at all the point of this post. The point is that during one of those missed movie opportunities, P and I were having all kinds of interesting talks. Somehow I got on the topic of comparing the US to a big jungle and France to a petting zoo. I don't know where the inspiration came from, but it actually fits rather well.
In one case you can be in any of the strata of the food chain of the jungle - some of them suck real bad. In the other, you are guaranteed food and health care and a roof and some level of protection from the lions, because, really, there are no lions in petting zoos.
But what do you do if you're in the petting zoo and one of you wants to be king of the jungle?
---
Most popular video online in France last week: tv journalism account of GMOs (genetically modified organisms) in food causing lesions in liver, pancreas and testicles; accompanied by the cover by mansonto and governments; outrage over protection of private company's economic interest vs. public health.
Monday, February 12, 2007
agency
After four whole seasons of experience; four seasons to set our lives topsy-turvy and enrich them beyond imagination, the little one turned one last week.
It may be due to this milestone, to the fabulous present from my mom when she babysat to give us 24 hours of freedom, or just that the right time has come, but I feel ready to transition to a slightly different family balance, one where she is less at the center, and more one of three.
And what blows me away these days is not her age but her agency - her free will if you prefer that terminology.
She decides unexpectedly this afternoon to practice and master walking backwards.
She develops a sudden interest for hats and glasses, and resulting in thigh-slapping funny impersonations: Rambo with her black headband, Ray Charles with her sunglasses indoors (she feels compelled to hold her mouth open when wearing those sunglasses).
She hugs, walks away, brings a book for me to read, comes back for another hug, sorts the clothes pins (winners: blue-and-yellow, losers: orange-and-green), is back for another hug.
She is determined to help us dress and undress her: socks and shoes and tights are a favourite, as are her hats as we've mentioned. But also her diapers!
At the end of the day, when I look at her (less bald) head resting on her mattress, I can't help but feel that I have two versions of my daughter: the sleeping one, which has been steadily growing in PJ sizes, a good looking toddler; and the awake one, whose developmental leaps and bounds astound me. She occasionally seems physically so small then when she's (finally) asleep.
But boy do I love the sparkle in those eyes.
-----
Obstetrics in Japan: C-sections, single digits of Epidurals.
No right to Habeas Corpus in the US? according to US Attorney General Alonso Gonzales
It may be due to this milestone, to the fabulous present from my mom when she babysat to give us 24 hours of freedom, or just that the right time has come, but I feel ready to transition to a slightly different family balance, one where she is less at the center, and more one of three.
And what blows me away these days is not her age but her agency - her free will if you prefer that terminology.
She decides unexpectedly this afternoon to practice and master walking backwards.
She develops a sudden interest for hats and glasses, and resulting in thigh-slapping funny impersonations: Rambo with her black headband, Ray Charles with her sunglasses indoors (she feels compelled to hold her mouth open when wearing those sunglasses).
She hugs, walks away, brings a book for me to read, comes back for another hug, sorts the clothes pins (winners: blue-and-yellow, losers: orange-and-green), is back for another hug.
She is determined to help us dress and undress her: socks and shoes and tights are a favourite, as are her hats as we've mentioned. But also her diapers!
At the end of the day, when I look at her (less bald) head resting on her mattress, I can't help but feel that I have two versions of my daughter: the sleeping one, which has been steadily growing in PJ sizes, a good looking toddler; and the awake one, whose developmental leaps and bounds astound me. She occasionally seems physically so small then when she's (finally) asleep.
But boy do I love the sparkle in those eyes.
-----
Obstetrics in Japan: C-sections, single digits of Epidurals.
No right to Habeas Corpus in the US? according to US Attorney General Alonso Gonzales
Monday, January 22, 2007
time to vote
... not for the French election just yet, but for something equally earth-shattering.
So the choice as it stands is: we're staying in France for another year, maybe five (although the exchange rate may force us out). The two contenders are the Montpellier and Nice areas, and for the following reasons.
Nice:
Montpellier:
As you can see, it looks like long-term Montpellier may be a better fit for us, or so we think, but it's such a gamble. Do we really want to start all over again with 1+ years of struggling to meet a friendly soul, when there's absolutely no guarantee that we'll find the right community for us? It's a long and arduous process. I feel that this is it: we wouldn't move to Montpellier than decide to move back around here a year later. We have limited opportunities to meet others - working from home, no kids in school, etc.
Are we splitting hairs over a decision most families never get the chance to make (since their location is mandated by a job)?
Please tell me what you think. I don't care if you know nothing or close to nothing about either cities, I really want to hear your opinions. Please. Help.
So the choice as it stands is: we're staying in France for another year, maybe five (although the exchange rate may force us out). The two contenders are the Montpellier and Nice areas, and for the following reasons.
Nice:
- besides Paris, only French airport with direct flights to the US
- biggest technology pole outside of Paris
- lots of bilingual schools
- lots of international folks
- we've finally started to connect with some really nice people here: international, young kids, techno oriented - our kind of people (whereas in Montpellier we know 1 person)
- we have a comfortable routine here; don't laugh too hard, it's the stuff of everyday life: a mommy&me group followed by doing groceries with the little one, a yoga class or a swim session, some favorite hikes; we finally know where to buy cheaper wood for the chimney, or paper supplies, or who to call to clean the boiler. it's the stuff that makes daily life smooth(er).
Montpellier:
- we love the city, it's upbeat, growing, young, happening, and - we hope - less dominated by grumpy old folks. In fact we've been to more exhibits and museums in our two quick weekends to Montpellier than we have in Nice.
- much more accessible to Paris and the rest of France by train and car than Nice (read, mother may babysit more often, brothers may visit more)
- the price of life is high but not yet quite as exhorbitant as Nice
- I feel closer to the culture of Montpellier (Spain-influenced) than to the culture of Nice (Italy-influenced): food wise, fashion wise, lifestyle wise. I've always felt that Nice wasn't really France, didn't look or behave like France, was more of a facade for tourists, whereas around Montpellier I feel that we're stepping back in France with gorgeous 'allées de platanes' (tree-lined roads) for instance.
- (The city's also got the best hospitals in France; there's a tiny minute chance that my brother could do his residency there).
As you can see, it looks like long-term Montpellier may be a better fit for us, or so we think, but it's such a gamble. Do we really want to start all over again with 1+ years of struggling to meet a friendly soul, when there's absolutely no guarantee that we'll find the right community for us? It's a long and arduous process. I feel that this is it: we wouldn't move to Montpellier than decide to move back around here a year later. We have limited opportunities to meet others - working from home, no kids in school, etc.
Are we splitting hairs over a decision most families never get the chance to make (since their location is mandated by a job)?
Please tell me what you think. I don't care if you know nothing or close to nothing about either cities, I really want to hear your opinions. Please. Help.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
literary consumption
I was recently admitting to a good friend that I could not keep up with her fast reading, but I am still excited and energized by the amount I'm able to sneak in at the end of the day.
Read Edward P. Jones' The Known World over the holidays. Pulitzer prize winner. Found it hard. Both because I don't like the writing style. And because of the subject matter: blacks (often former slaves) owning slaves themselves; the 'moral complexity' of the relations between masters, overseers, slaves; the overall completely and overwhelmingly distressing situations - freed men whose papers are torn apart and sold back into slavery; children slaves who die of starvation; mothers who abort in the middle of too hard a day's labor; complete lawlessness. Maybe it was the timing (holidays), but if it weren't for the occasional reminder that things would quickly change and they'd all be free and generally happier (if they had not been killed in the mean time), I would have found it hard to finish. So, good for the history, not my cup of tea for the writing, not an uplifiting read.
Quickly read Nicholas Spark's The Notebook . Sweet love story with a twist; easy read.
Finished Lucia Etxebarria's A Miracle in Balance . Greatly enjoyed it, though not at all what I expected. I expected a mother-to-daughter here's-how-i-feel-about-you-and-your-birth, and it was in fact much more a novel about the (imaginary) mother's life up to her daughter's birth - delving into family troubles and how do we live on destructive cycles we grew up with, how do we get out of those, and what is family, and how do we choose to allow ourselves to conceive, and how the birth of a child makes us grow into our responsibilities. Recommend it even if you're not a parent, and not planning on being one ever.
And... I was treated to (aka spoiled with) a stash of books for my birthday. Delight ! I'll keep you posted.
---
Went to the doc yesterday. By the end of the exam, the poor guy felt sorry for my variety of ailments. And since I'd told him I'd hesitated many times before coming here, he went back to his notes and said "last time you were here, you came because you were tired" (indeed). I could see him thinking , 'wow, she must have really been exhausted to show up then - since here she almost didn't come, yet i'm sending her home with a list of prescriptions the size of a small grocery list.' I did a little happy dance in my head at noticing that, then reflected on it. The greatest sin in my family was always laziness, and that included skipping on school or work if you weren't really truly cripplingly ill. How often I've double-guessed myself only to find out I had a fever well over 40. So the little happy dance is silly. I've seen what complete disregard to my physical limitations looks like (not pretty). Instead I'll be aiming to strive for better balance between in-tune with self, and no self-pity. Mantra of the new year #3.
Read Edward P. Jones' The Known World over the holidays. Pulitzer prize winner. Found it hard. Both because I don't like the writing style. And because of the subject matter: blacks (often former slaves) owning slaves themselves; the 'moral complexity' of the relations between masters, overseers, slaves; the overall completely and overwhelmingly distressing situations - freed men whose papers are torn apart and sold back into slavery; children slaves who die of starvation; mothers who abort in the middle of too hard a day's labor; complete lawlessness. Maybe it was the timing (holidays), but if it weren't for the occasional reminder that things would quickly change and they'd all be free and generally happier (if they had not been killed in the mean time), I would have found it hard to finish. So, good for the history, not my cup of tea for the writing, not an uplifiting read.
Quickly read Nicholas Spark's The Notebook . Sweet love story with a twist; easy read.
Finished Lucia Etxebarria's A Miracle in Balance . Greatly enjoyed it, though not at all what I expected. I expected a mother-to-daughter here's-how-i-feel-about-you-and-your-birth, and it was in fact much more a novel about the (imaginary) mother's life up to her daughter's birth - delving into family troubles and how do we live on destructive cycles we grew up with, how do we get out of those, and what is family, and how do we choose to allow ourselves to conceive, and how the birth of a child makes us grow into our responsibilities. Recommend it even if you're not a parent, and not planning on being one ever.
And... I was treated to (aka spoiled with) a stash of books for my birthday. Delight ! I'll keep you posted.
---
Went to the doc yesterday. By the end of the exam, the poor guy felt sorry for my variety of ailments. And since I'd told him I'd hesitated many times before coming here, he went back to his notes and said "last time you were here, you came because you were tired" (indeed). I could see him thinking , 'wow, she must have really been exhausted to show up then - since here she almost didn't come, yet i'm sending her home with a list of prescriptions the size of a small grocery list.' I did a little happy dance in my head at noticing that, then reflected on it. The greatest sin in my family was always laziness, and that included skipping on school or work if you weren't really truly cripplingly ill. How often I've double-guessed myself only to find out I had a fever well over 40. So the little happy dance is silly. I've seen what complete disregard to my physical limitations looks like (not pretty). Instead I'll be aiming to strive for better balance between in-tune with self, and no self-pity. Mantra of the new year #3.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Thursday, January 11, 2007
world's worst ideas
On the UK's expensive Trident nuclear weapons, potential nuclear non-proliferation treaty breach, and the Body Shop founder
A 2007 warning: The world's worst 12 ideas
Number twelve: Human behaviour can be predicted
And it is easy to forget as we fret about North Korea that more countries have given up nuclear weapons over the past generation than have developed them. Brazil, Argentina, South Africa, Ukraine all abandoned the bomb. Nor do G8 countries like Canada, Germany, Italy feel any less secure without nuclear weapons.
None of our wars were ever won by them and none of the enemies we fought was deterred by them. General Galtieri was not deterred from seizing the Falklands, although Britain possessed the nuclear bomb and Argentina did not."
Both Hans Blix, the former chief UN weapons inspector and Kofi Annan, the UN secretary general have spoken out to urge the UK and other nuclear weapons states not to re-arm. As Annan put it, "by clinging to and modernizing their own arsenals, even when there is no obvious threat to their national security that nuclear weapons could deter, nuclear-weapon states encourage others - particularly those that do face real threats in their own region - to regard nuclear weapons as essential, both to their security and to their status. It would be much easier to confront proliferators if the very existence of nuclear weapons were universally acknowledged as dangerous and ultimately illegitimate."
A 2007 warning: The world's worst 12 ideas
Number twelve: Human behaviour can be predicted
In the name of a supposedly "scientific" criterion of knowledge, scholars are berated for not predicting the end of the cold war, the rise of Islam, 9/11 and much else besides. Yet many natural sciences – seismology, evolutionary biology - cannot predict with accuracy either. Human affairs themselves, even leaving aside the matter of human intention and will, allow of too many variables for such calculation. We will never be able to predict with certainty the outcome of a sports contest, the incidence of revolutions, the duration of passion or how long an individual will live.
Number eleven: The world is speeding up
This, a favourite trope of globalisation theorists, confuses acceleration in some areas, such as the transmission of knowledge, with the fact that large areas of human life continue to demand the same time as before: to conceive and bear a child, to learn a language, to grow up, to digest a meal, to enjoy a joke, to read a poem. It takes the same time to fly from London to New York as it did forty years ago, ditto to boil an egg or publish a book. Some activities – such as or driving around major western cities, getting through an airport, or dying - may take much longer.
Number ten: We have no need for history
In recent decades, large areas of intellectual and academic life - political thought and analysis, economics, philosophy - have jettisoned a concern with history. Yet it remains true that those who ignore history repeat it; as the recycling of unacknowledged cold-war premises by the Bush administration in Iraq has devastatingly shown.
Number nine: We live in a "post-feminist" epoch
The implication of this claim, supposedly analogous to such terms as "post-industrial", is that we have no more need for feminism, in politics, law, everyday life, because the major goals of that movement, articulated in the 1970s and 1980s, have been achieved. On all counts, this is a false claim: the "post-feminist" label serves not to register achievement of reforming goals, but the delegitimation of those goals themselves.
Number eight: Markets are a "natural" phenomenon which allow for the efficient allocation of resources and preferences
Markets are not "natural" but are the product of particular societies, value systems and patterns of state relation to the economy. They are not efficient allocators of goods, since they ignore the large area of human activity and need that is not covered by monetary values - from education and the provision of public works, to human happiness and fulfillment. In any case the pure market is a fantasy; the examples of the two most traded commodities in the contemporary world, oil and drugs, show how political, social and cartel factors override and distort the workings of supply and demand.
Number seven: Religion should again be allowed, when not encouraged, to play a role in political and social life
From the evangelicals of the United States, to the followers of Popes John Paul II and Benedict XVI, to the Islamists of the middle east, the claim about the benefits of religion is one of the great, and all too little challenged, impostures of our time. For centuries, those aspiring to freedom and democracy, be it in Europe or the middle east, fought to push back the influence of religion on public life. Secularism cannot guarantee freedom, but, against the claims of tradition and superstition, and the uses to which religion is put in modern political life, from California to Kuwait, it is an essential bulwark.
Number six: In the modern world, we do not need utopias
Dreaming, the aspiration to a better world and the imagination thereof, is a necessary part of the human condition.
Number five: We should welcome the spread of English as a world language
It is obviously of practical benefit that there is one common, functional, language of trade, air traffic control etc, but the actual domination of English in today's world has been accompanied by a tide of cultural arrogance that is itself debasing: a downgrading and neglect of other languages and cultures across the world, the general compounding of Anglo-Saxon political and social arrogance, and the introverted collapse of interest within English-speaking countries themselves in other peoples and languages, in sum, a triumph of banality over diversity. One small but universal example: the imposition on hotel staff across the world, with all its wonderful diversity of nomenclature, of name tags denoting the bearer as "Mike", "Johnny" and "Steve".
Number four: The world is divided into incomparable moral blocs, or civilisations
This view has been aptly termed (by Ernest Gellner) as "liberalism for the liberals, cannibalism for the cannibals". But a set of common values is indeed shared across the world: from democracy and human rights to the defence of national sovereignty and belief in the benefits of economic development. The implantation of these values is disputed, in all countries, but not the values themselves. Most states in the world, whatever their cultural or religious character, have signed the universalist United Nations declarations on human rights, starting with the 1948 universal declaration.
Number three: Diasporas have a legitimate role to play in national and international politics
The notion that emigrant or diaspora communities have a special insight into the problems of their homeland, or a special moral or political status in regard to them, is wholly unfounded. Emigrant ethnic communities play almost always a negative, backward, at once hysterical and obstructive, role in resolving the conflicts of their countries of origin: Armenians and Turks, Jews and Arabs, various strands of Irish, are prime examples on the inter-ethnic front, as are exiles in the United States in regard to resolving the problems of Cuba, or policymaking on Iran. English emigrants are less noted for any such political role, though their spasms of collective inebriation and conformist ghettoised lifestyles abroad do little to enhance the reputation of their home country.
Number two: The only thing "they" understand is force
This has been the guiding illusion of hegemonic and colonial thinking for several centuries. Oppressed peoples do not accept the imposition of solutions by force: they revolt. It is the oppressors who, in the end, have to accept the verdict of force, as European empires did in Latin America, Africa and Asia and as the United States is doing in Iraq today. The hubris of "mission accomplished" in May 2003 has been followed by ignominy.
Number one: The world's population problems, and the spread of Aids, can be solved without the use of condoms
This is not only the most dangerous, but also the most criminal, error of the modern world. Millions of people will suffer, and die premature and humiliating deaths, as a result of the policies pursued in this regard through the United Nations and related aid and public-health programmes. Indeed, there is no need to ask where the first mass murderers of the 21st century are; we already know, and their addresses besides: the Lateran Palace, Vatican City, Rome, and 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC. Timely arrest and indictment would save many lives.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
more on chemicals' harms to our bodies
Environmental pollutants (synthetic chemicals) passing from woman to child, lingering in women's bodies, affecting women more than men, and children most of all; in Hereditary Toxins Spur Scientific Concern. ''
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Prozac in earthworms, and other synthetic aberrations in wildlife; in
Female Trouble for Wildlife Raise Human Worries
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Breast cancer rates down, mostly in women over 50, may be due to millions discontinuing hormone therapy replacement
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You may be interested in the "skin deep" report and database by the Environmental Working Group on safer cosmetics and care products (there is standard for 'natural' labels in the US).
Think you don't use cosmetics? what about toothpaste, shampoo, and so on... check it out.
"Manufacturers are producing new chemicals all the time with little government oversight," says Julia Brody, director of the Silent Spring Institute, based in Newton, Mass. "We need tighter restrictions, like those in Europe, if we hope to protect the next generation."(note that Europe is far from great and that the UK in particular has been pushing back on tighter EU-wide regulations).
In 2002, a study found that 1 in 6 U.S. women of reproductive age has enough of mercury contaminant in her blood to endanger a developing fetus.
Some compounds can linger for decades after a single exposure. Take DDT, a pesticide that can damage the nervous system. In May 2006, the Seattle-based Toxic-Free Legacy Coalition tested Washington residents and found 80 percent had detectible levels of the chemical in their bloodstreams 34 years after it was banned in the United States.
"There is extensive evidence of harm in animals and growing evidence of harm in humans," says Frederick vom Saal, a professor of biology at the University of Missouri-Columbia.
They say pollutants may be partly responsible for the rising incidence of breast cancer, up 90 percent in 50 years and triggered in lab studies by organochlorine pesticides, mercury, PAH (found in auto emissions) and polyvinyl chloride (PVC, found in plastics).
Other health problems that researchers say may be linked to environmental toxins include male infertility, which has increased twelvefold in the past 80 years; prostate cancer, up 75 percent in 30 years; diabetes, which has doubled in the past 25 years; and obesity, which has doubled in the past 15 years.
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Prozac in earthworms, and other synthetic aberrations in wildlife; in
Female Trouble for Wildlife Raise Human Worries
In California, female sea lions are spontaneously aborting their fetuses. In the Great Lakes area, mother gulls are sharing nests and raising eggs together because their male partners have forgotten how to parent. In upstate New York, female frogs have as much testosterone in their bodies as males. Scientists say these aberrations all share a common link: exposure to toxic chemicals called "endocrine disruptors," which pollute the air, soil and water.
In Washington state, endocrine disruptors have been tied to the deaths of mother orcas, whose orphans have been adopted by other female whales. In Alaska, they have caused female polar bears' ovaries to shrink. In Massachusetts, they have lowered the over-winter survival rates of female tree swallows. In Florida, they have accumulated in the milk of mother dolphins, poisoning and killing their calves.
Synthetic compounds have been detected in even the simplest life forms. According to a 2006 study by the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS), earthworms now have an average 31 pollutants in their bodies, including perfumes, household disinfectants and the antidepressant Prozac.
Just as alarming as these problems is the low level of exposure at which they are occurring. When Tyrone Hayes, an assistant professor of biology at the University of California, Berkeley, studied the endocrine-disrupting properties of atrazine, a common weed killer, he discovered reproductive abnormalities in affected leopard frogs at 0.1 parts per billion parts water, 30 times less than the Environmental Protection Agency's limit for atrazine in drinking water.
Consider phthalates, those chemicals that help prevent makeup from smudging. In 2003, an Environmental Protection Agency study found these substances could reduce fertility in rodents, causing female rats to bear 50 to 90 percent fewer offspring.
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Breast cancer rates down, mostly in women over 50, may be due to millions discontinuing hormone therapy replacement
---
You may be interested in the "skin deep" report and database by the Environmental Working Group on safer cosmetics and care products (there is standard for 'natural' labels in the US).
Think you don't use cosmetics? what about toothpaste, shampoo, and so on... check it out.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Admissions
Relax, despite my melodramatic previous post, I have not lost all sense of perspective.
In France, the generic toast year-round is "santé !" (health!).
We have all three been through a bout of bad stomach flu, and are now battling bronchitis.
A neighbor and friend of the family had a heart attack on January 2nd during his second session with a personal trainer (Christmas gift from his children). P says he's read that such heart attacks during training sessions are becoming extremely common; couldn't find a reliable news source to confirm though. The man was quickly defibrillated, transported and top-notch cared for. Still, his heart had stopped.
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Second mantra of the new year: Remember when it is not about me.
I am somewhat unaffected by the passing of the new year evening. I have realized that it is not about the pants I wear, the ice I fail to put in my water, or the language I speak to my child; in fact it is not at all about me, but rather about her (mil). thus me = zen.
And when the little one wakes up because she is jet-lagged, ill, teething, going through a major growth developmental spurt, it is also not about me. It's about her. so me = zip it (or try to).
Have you seen the US News and World Report? I stumbled upon it at the medical office, and could only see contempt for the rest of the world. no understanding, only judging.
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Once upon a time in a lecture room, I realized that our conception of things in 'states' rather than 'processes' is all wrong. We define and describe things as they are at the present, instead of the direction they are taking. Backwards: we lose all the richness of the reality.
For instance, we say "as of today, she walks". 6 months later she'll still be stumbling her way through walking. Slowly she learns to turn in mid-course, to stop and start again, to squat up and down, to get up on her own without the help of a step or a leg or a wall, to run, and so on. There is no "she walks". There is only "she is learning to walk".
And us, we're not parents; we're parenting. We're in the process of growing a little person. And an adorable one at that!
In France, the generic toast year-round is "santé !" (health!).
We have all three been through a bout of bad stomach flu, and are now battling bronchitis.
A neighbor and friend of the family had a heart attack on January 2nd during his second session with a personal trainer (Christmas gift from his children). P says he's read that such heart attacks during training sessions are becoming extremely common; couldn't find a reliable news source to confirm though. The man was quickly defibrillated, transported and top-notch cared for. Still, his heart had stopped.
---
Second mantra of the new year: Remember when it is not about me.
I am somewhat unaffected by the passing of the new year evening. I have realized that it is not about the pants I wear, the ice I fail to put in my water, or the language I speak to my child; in fact it is not at all about me, but rather about her (mil). thus me = zen.
And when the little one wakes up because she is jet-lagged, ill, teething, going through a major growth developmental spurt, it is also not about me. It's about her. so me = zip it (or try to).
---Have you seen the US News and World Report? I stumbled upon it at the medical office, and could only see contempt for the rest of the world. no understanding, only judging.
---
Once upon a time in a lecture room, I realized that our conception of things in 'states' rather than 'processes' is all wrong. We define and describe things as they are at the present, instead of the direction they are taking. Backwards: we lose all the richness of the reality.
For instance, we say "as of today, she walks". 6 months later she'll still be stumbling her way through walking. Slowly she learns to turn in mid-course, to stop and start again, to squat up and down, to get up on her own without the help of a step or a leg or a wall, to run, and so on. There is no "she walks". There is only "she is learning to walk".
And us, we're not parents; we're parenting. We're in the process of growing a little person. And an adorable one at that!
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
The New Year
New Year's Eve was wholly catastrophic. At the bottom in the annals of my new years. Worse yet than finding myself on the parking lot of a deserted strip mall at the change of millenium. And this massive downer was single-handedly orchestrated by my mother in law.
I have seen the depth of her malady, of her contempt and hatred, and of the disease that stems from her manipulative control freakness. It is horrific.
Is it worth mentioning that first thing the following morning I was about to book 9 hour non-direct flights to cross the country and escape from this, with a super-active lil one, which would have tallied up to 4 the number of flights it would have taken us to then get home, and only stopped because we agreed instead to go home early, only to find that all earlier flights were fully booked and prices had gone up?
Should I also mention that this was before the lil one lost 2 pounds overnight (2 out of 20) and I became intimately familiar with the laundry room?
For kicks, I'll also mention that this was right after I'd settled on my new year resolution - "not to dwell on negative things". Sure tested me quickly.
I sincerely hope your new year and all of 2007 will be more like what I had planned originally: dancing in the moonlight with your loved one(s).
Happy Happy Happy New Year, Peace and Love and Understanding to all.
I have seen the depth of her malady, of her contempt and hatred, and of the disease that stems from her manipulative control freakness. It is horrific.
Is it worth mentioning that first thing the following morning I was about to book 9 hour non-direct flights to cross the country and escape from this, with a super-active lil one, which would have tallied up to 4 the number of flights it would have taken us to then get home, and only stopped because we agreed instead to go home early, only to find that all earlier flights were fully booked and prices had gone up?
Should I also mention that this was before the lil one lost 2 pounds overnight (2 out of 20) and I became intimately familiar with the laundry room?
For kicks, I'll also mention that this was right after I'd settled on my new year resolution - "not to dwell on negative things". Sure tested me quickly.
I sincerely hope your new year and all of 2007 will be more like what I had planned originally: dancing in the moonlight with your loved one(s).
Happy Happy Happy New Year, Peace and Love and Understanding to all.
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